How to Tell if You are Dating Someone Who is not Living up to their Potential

Sometimes when we find ourselves in a new relationship, we can only see the good and people. The problem is, occasionally, there are a lot of red flags. And when red flags are heart-shaped, they may be a little hard to see. 

If you are wondering what signs to look out for to ensure that you don’t date a loser, then we have you covered. Below we have 10 Ways to Tell if You are Dating a Loser.

No Goals in Life

Ask them about their 5/10/15/20 year plan to see if they know what they want to do in life. Someone motivated with dreams and aspirations will likely have a plan of where they want to go and what they want to achieve.

However, if you’re dating someone with no aspirations in life, they likely have not thought about the future. Not having a goal in life may be a sign that you are dating a loser.

Thrives for Bare Minimum

Thriving for the bare minimum is hard to tell as it shows they are functioning in life as an adult by having a car and paying rent. However, there’s no further aspiration except for getting by with the bare minimum.

The issue with this is if you are a person who wants more in life, such as traveling, a big house, or retiring comfortably, then being with someone who only wants to scrape by may become a conflict in your relationship. Especially if all they want to achieve is just enough to survive for the moment without planning for the future.

Can’t Keep a Job

One red flag is if your partner is changing jobs constantly.

The number one way and tell if you’re dating a loser is if they can’t keep a job. If you start dating someone and notice they hop from one position to another, this is a red flag.

Even if they maintain a steady stream of work by job hopping throughout the dating period, there is a possibility that once the relationship becomes serious or have children, they may not want to work at all. Possibly, hoping to entrap you to support them while they stay home. However, this may not always be the case.

Other reasons they may not be able to maintain a study job may be either a lack of work ethic, not being responsible, or low self-esteem. It is imperative to determine why your partner is job hopping and whether it is something you can deal with long-term.

Spending Out of Control

Having poor spending habits is another red flag to look out for in a relationship.
“You want to associate with people who are the kind of person you’d like to be. You’ll move in that direction. And the most important person by far in that respect is your spouse. Marry the right person. I’m serious about that. It will make more difference in your life. It will change your aspirations, all kinds of things.”
~ Warren Buffett

Another way to tell if you’re dating a loser is through their spending habits. However, some individuals may be wealthy enough to have a lavish lifestyle while still being responsible with their money through sound investments.

However, suppose you know this person is spending their entire income on clothing, jewelry, expensive cars, or name brands trying to look wealthy. In that case, you may be dealing with a partner who struggles with irresponsibly spending.

Furthermore, with uncontrollable spending, there’s a possibility you may have to pick up the check or cover bills they cannot make. Not being able to pay their way might include their half rent, electricity, are even covering the cost of date nights. 

If you ever have to cover their expenses, it will make it harder for you to set aside money each month to pay your bills, pay down your debt, or invest your money.

Being with someone financially savvy will give you financial security in the long run. Furthermore, being on the same page financially will help relieve stress in your relationship. Therefore, making it important to find someone who understands the importance of money and how to spend it wisely. 

Bad Credit

Another red flag is someone who has bad credit. Lousy credit indicates not having the responsibility to pay bills on time or, even worse, not paying bills altogether.

If the person you are dating indicates they have lousy credit, then it’s essential to understand why. Having someone who doesn’t pay their bills on time can make it difficult when you marry because you will likely have to be in complete control of paying all bills on time.

Doesn’t Have Their Own Place

Another flag to look out for is if your partner does not have their own place. Do they live with friends or living with family? Are they paying their share of the rent, or are they just bumming?

Indicators they may not have their own place are never inviting you over, won’t tell you where they live, and keeping their living situation a secret. These are things to pay attention to and consider when dating someone new.

Their Friends Have No Aspirations

Take a good look at their friends. If their friends have no aspirations in life, are not working, or still living at home with their parents, then there is a good possibility that you might be dating a loser.

Most of the time, people hang out with who they’re most comfortable with. Therefore, their friends may indicate the lifestyle this person may have. Meeting their friends will likely give you an insight into things to keep an eye on.

Rude to Strangers

You can often tell if somebody’s a loser simply by their attitude. Watch how they treat strangers; their behavior towards others will show a lot about their character.

Successful individuals understand the need to be kind, caring, and compassionate to others around them. Highly emotionally intelligent individuals understand that although someone may not have a lot of money, they still go to work and try to do their best.

However, someone with a bad attitude will treat people around them horribly because they believe they are superior to those around them. 


Another sign you’re dating a loser is they are clinging. Bums are often clinging to those that they need. Deadbeats thrive on getting by on the bare minimum by using others around them for their resources. Resources may be money, a place to live, or a car.

If you have more to offer, then you are their goldmine. Be careful when someone is super clingy and gives you unconditional affection, especially if you give them a free place to live or materialistic things.


If you are in a relationship with someone who is lazy or lacks responsibility then this may indicate you are in a toxic relationship. Furthermore, it may also indicate that you will be a mother and constantly serve him. Make sure you know what you are getting yourself into.

If you’re dating someone who wants to spend the evenings watching television or their weekends in bed, you may be dating someone lazy. Furthermore, if you go to their house and it’s never clean, the car is dirty, or the grass is never mowed, then they may be sluggish.

If they won’t do these things for themself, why would they do it for the person they are dating? A good chance you are getting what you see, someone who does not maintain or clean their home, cars, or possessions. 

If you like your home in pristine condition, the lawn mowed weekly, or a clean car, you may find yourself doing all the chores around the house. Ask yourself, can you live with someone you are constantly cleaning up after?

In conclusion, knowing the signs that you may be dating a loser is essential. Some signs to watch for are having no goals in life, thriving for the bare minimum, and job hopping. These are just a few signs indicating you may not be dating the guy for you.

Paying attention to these signs can ensure that you find someone motivated, responsible, financially savvy, and emotionally intelligent. Remember always to prioritize your happiness and well-being in any relationship.

Full List of How to Tell if You are Dating Someone Who is Not Living up to Their Potential

  1. Can’t Keep a Job 
  2. Spending Out of Control
  3. Bad Credit 
  4. Doesn’t Have his Own Place
  5. Their Friends Have no Aspirations
  6. No Goals in Life 
  7. Thrives for Bare Minimum
  8. Rude to Strangers
  9. Clingy 
  10. Lazy

We hope our article, How to Tell if You are Dating a Loser,  helps you dodge a serious bullet in your next relationship. Remember, if red flags start appearing, ask yourself, can I do this for the next 10-15 plus years, or will this make me unhappy?

Get Featured in Our Next Article by Telling Your Story!

Comment Below to Get Featured

Let us know in the comment section below What was Your Worst Relationship?

Sara Elizabeth

About Author, Sara Elizabeth
Writer, Amora V Lifestyle
Co-Owner of Elizabeth Besich Boutique

Sara is a writer for Amora V Lifestyle and is Co-Owner of Elizabeth Besich. Sara previously worked as a Marketing Manager and has her Master’s from Lindenwood University.

Sara studies everything of interest, from psychology, recipes, finances, mental health, and travel, thriving to find happiness and to live a good life.

When not learning, Sara loves all things outdoors, food, and hanging around great company. Furthermore, Sara loves spending time with family, who she is blessed to have in her life.

Note from the author: Through my articles, I hope to bring you joy and peace and that you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I am not a professional relationship counselor, and my advice should not be considered as a substitute for professional help. It is important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner, friend or co-worker and seek guidance from a qualified professional if needed. Remember, every relationship is unique and requires individual attention and care. Any reviews or comments written are the subjective opinion of an Amora V Lifestyle member and not Amora V Lifestyle. Amora V Lifestyle performs occasional checks on commentary left by users. It’s worth mentioning that we may also use comments in our articles. By posting a comment, you are giving us permission to use it in our content. Please check out Privacy Policy and Terms of Use for full disclosure.


Leave a reply